?

Am I the only one who is me?
Am I the only one who thinks the way I do?
Am I the only one who has no idea what I want to do in the future yet?
Am I the only one who is so bad at, yet so desperate to learn to make new friends, that I read Carnegie?
Am I the only one in my generation who knows who Dale Carnegie is?
Am I the only one who is scared of not knowing?
Am I the only one who isn’t scared of any living beings, yet terrified of darkness and what could be hiding there?
Am I the only one who gets sad for no reason at all?
Am I the only one who would rather stay at home all day in my PJ’s than go shopping?
Am I the only one who re-reads my own posts to see if I changed my opinion on something?
Am I the only one who doesn’t want to belong to any sort of clique/group/circle?
Am I the only one who wishes nobody I know would read this?
Am I the only one who hates making mistakes, no matter how small?
Am I the only one who watches anime for myself?
Am I the only one who presents myself with determination, changes opinion when proved wrong, yet still pretends to have the same one?
Am I the only one who even bothers to think if I’m the only one who thinks about this stuff?
Am I the only one who is really scared of not existing?
Am I the only one who sometimes hates myself?
Am I the only one who tries to impress people by stating random facts that I really do find fascinating, yet are useless in “real life”?
Am I the only one who feels like I don’t control my thoughts myself?
Am I the only one who sees myself as I see myself?
Am I the only one who feels like everyone is lying?
Am I the only one who feels like I’m lying to myself?
Am I the only one who pretends not to care about something someone said/did to me, while inside hurting a lot?
Am I the only one who doesn’t know what to “grow up” really means?
Am I the only one who hasn’t had a real crush on anyone in more than three years?
Am I the only one who is scared of ending up alone?
Am I the only one who feels like I’m running out of time?
Am I the only one who loves my family, but can’t/doesn’t know how to express it?
Am I the only one who thinks that no one is really happy?
Am I the only one who feels like there’s no point in living, yet is terrified of dying?
Am I the only one who believes in some kind of “master plan”, but not in God?
Am I the only one who isn’t sure if I should capitalize the “g” or not?
Am I the only one who isn’t sure of anything?
Am I the only one?

Am I?

The daily life of stushi.

Every day, I wake up feeling refreshed and ready to tackle with any obstacles in my way! Because I know that life is a gift, so we shouldn’t take it for granted 😀

No, but seriously, I don’t understand those people. How can they wake up at 6:00, feeling as though life is the most wonderful thing, ever? When I try to wake up, I spend about 30 seconds hating on this world for not letting me sleep, and then myself for not sleeping earlier (like that helps), before finally resorting to moaning loudly with few stops between shifting my position and getting up. It’s only after splashing my face with water that I have control over my thoughts. Really. I’m this close to sleeping on the toilet every day.

You probably figured out that I’m not a morning person.

Then I get dressed. The best thing about my school is its uniforms. Girls and guys both have similar uniforms (baggy pants and a polo) with the only difference being the color. That’s one thing I don’t have to think about in the morning. Also, I’m glad we don’t have to wear skirts; although guys would probably disagree. 😛

Then I get on the bus, if I make it on time, which I sometimes do (yay me !), which takes me to school for about 40 minutes or so.

Now, there’s an odd grading system at my school. We get marks for homework, activities, quizzes and stuff normally, but the exams are different. This might happen somewhere else, too, but as far as I know, only our school does it.

They organize it so that we take an exam from each subject (10) within 5 days. That basically means that we take 2 exams per day,
this time starting from Wednesday, so that we get the weekend off to study, until Tuesday. Today. So today I finished my last exam! HURRAY! LET’S PARTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!

No.

See, I don’t think it’s worth celebrating when you’re sure you did horribly on 4/10 exams. Ah, well…at least I’m not failing. (Nobody fails. Ever.)

Anyway, riding the bus back home takes a little more than going, since there’s more traffic coming in than out, but I use that time reading a book or manga. Right now I’m reading “PopCo.” by Scarlett Thomas, and I’m halfway through. It’s been great so far, so I recommend it to anyone who likes a read that is fun and filled with all kinds of trivia about math, code-breaking, marketing, selling techniques, and even discusses The Meaning of Life™, although it is done in such a way that you don’t get bored with any of it. That’s probably what makes it so enjoyable; you get extra information without even realizing it. While the main plot is about this girl/lady/miss/woman/chick who works at PopCo. making toys. Wow, this sounds like the most boring book ever. Makes me think twice about doing those reviews…In short, great book.Read it. Now.

Twice a week, I go to piano lessons straight after school. It’s pretty common for the average family to have someone who plays an instrument here.  I’ve been going on and off for about 6 years now, but I’m nowhere as good as I should be…:(

When I finally get home, which is at about 16:00 when I don’t have piano lessons, I eat. SO exciting, I know. Most of my time afterward is spent in the magical world known as The Internet. What I do there is strictly confidential, though. 😛

But really, 2/3 of all my free time is spent there, practicing my witchcraft for when my Hogwarts letters come. (Oh, and just so you know, I’m not one of those fake HP fans who just got into the hype last year. Me and my brother have been reading the books since 2001…or probably even earlier. It was my first “grown-up” book, that I read in 3rd grade. Good times…good times…)
I usually just linger around different blogs; sometimes commenting, mostly stalking from the shadows.

My best friend is anime. So original, right? Like there aren’t enough blogs about anime. But I’m thinking about not making it a main blog subject.

Also, since I’m listing off clichés, I watch How I Met Your Mother, and the last episode made me go: “AHHHHHH! NOOO! YEEES! Awwwwwwww! Ted <3<3 Barney <3<3 WHyYyyyyyyYYYYYYYYYYYyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyYYYY???” * ahem* so yeah. You can see I like it.

And am I the only one who still hasn’t watched nor read anything from The Lord of the Rings? Okay, I read 100 pages from the first book, but then got bored, sorry. I’ll probably try it again. Oh, and I slept halfway through the first movie, too. *ashamed panda*

Well this post is just going to go on and on and on and on and on and on and…you get my point. So this is where I’ll stop for today, hoping that I’ll write faster next time, because this is seriously a waste of time otherwise. 😛

Here’s your link for today, btw:
http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/inner-monologue-of-someone-watching-a-movie-with-their-parents-when-a-sex-scene-comes-on/

I thought it’d go well with the randomness that I wrote. 😀

Until next time, imaginary friend…

Here’s a first.

Hello internet. I’m stushi.

This is my first blog, first post, first time introducing myself to an imaginary audience. Sad? Not really.

I’m not really sure what the purpose of this is, yet. I just know that I have to write. Why? Lots of reasons. Lots and lots. Okay, probably not that much. But instead of finding reasons, I’m just going to make a list of stuff that I plan to write about, so that you and I have a general idea of what this blog will be/is about.

1) Reviews. Anything, ranging from shows, movies, books, manga, anime, other blogs even. (I might change my mind about this…let’s see.)

2) Thoughts.  Again, related to anything of the above.

3) Personal stuff. Not really sure about this one, but I am thinking about maybe adding some personal stories, thoughts, or rants related to my life. (Probably not so much, but meh.)

4) Links. Anything that I find REALLY interesting, yet can’t actually share on FB for various reasons. Of course, obviously only if I get enough readers. On second thought, I’ll post them anyway…don’t care if anyone reads this. (Of course I care.)

I don’t have any more ideas right now, so I think I’ll stick to these four. Not much, but who cares. I don’t. (I do.)

Maybe the next post will actually have something interesting…maybe…

But for now, I leave you, my imaginary reader, with this link:

I recommend everyone to watch that and agree that it’s awesome. Of course everyone agrees. I’m always right. (I’m not.)